Sweet, Salt, and Sour Wings

Ah, yeah... I'm hearing a Barry White bass line right now... or maybe 'Business Time', by Flight of the Conchords... you know you wanna just reach out and touch those, take them in your teeth, I know I do...

Ahem, excuse me.

Anyway, some poor guest of mine couldn't handle hot wings, so I made these instead. Homemade teriyaki type glaze with light soy, dark soy, sugar, garlic, light touch rice vinegar. Basted early and basted often, cooked to a crisp glaze. Jesus, I need a cold shower.

Flight Of Sliders

Three BFTLT's (that's Bacon Fried Turkey, ie turkey cold cuts fried in canola oil 'til brown and crisp, lettuce, and tomato.

Martin's wonderfully squishy potato flour hamburger rolls, plenty of mayo, fresh tomatoes. Good lunch at work... how can you go wrong?

Banksy

Swiss chard, just cut in the garden. Quick-fried with soy, a little ginger, a little garlic.

Swinging Both Ways

Vegan pan fried noodles and dumplings. The tofu is first pressed, dusted in corn starch, crisped in hot oil, then while the noodles are frying on the bottom and steaming on the top (drop in a quarter cup water and cover tightly), the stir fry is assembled and added to the noodles in a pre-heated dish.

The dumplings are hand filled and folded. My standard formula for a vegan filling is a mushroom, a green, an allium, and a starch, most likely napa, shredded scallion, rehydrated abalone mushrooms, and carrot.

That there venison, on the other hand, was shot by hunter buddies of my neighbor next door, and we have a very cordial arrangement involving the occasional exchange of protein and use of a snowblower, most satisfactory. Sliced thin and cooked expertly with onion by my friend David Mager: 'slide the venison across the pan and into the serving dish...'

Bagel Pizza

You know you want it... look at those babies, fresh from under the broiler and sliced in clean quarters for easy eating. Cut with my curved chinese cleaver that laughs at high-tensile cheese floating over squishy sauce (the only knife I named: Onibocho, which means demon knife in Japanese. Cost me nine bucks, I think).

Anyway, toast the bagel first for a good crust! This is the critical step in bagel pizza, too often neglected by people who have no consideration for the finer points in the art. If you can melt on a medium sharp cheddar, over a sauce (of forgotten origin, I'd like to think I made it but there may have been some Newman's Own kicking around) as I have done here, so much the better.

Don't forget the simple, ordinary, healthy, good stick-to-your-ribs stuff in the rush for a microwaved quick fix.

The Kramer of Soft Drinks?

'He's a loathsome, offensive brute, but I can't look away'. Well, autocrat isn't that bad, but there's more HFCS here than anything else. I took the plunge after the Globe reviewed the three local brands and hey, this one is the state drink of Rhode Island. Thoroughly enjoyed it, but did not get another one.

Garlic Beans

Ends trimmed, sauteed green in my big wok/pan hybrid, tossed at the last minute with garlic, light soy, palm sugar...